Missing
by Nyachu-chan
Summary: Your weren't sure when you noticed it, but you did. That nobody else notices that he's gone. It's almost like he never existed. But you wish you hadn't noticed it. Because it was tearing you apart. / (Pale) Johnkat; Sadstuck


**Missing**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **I am not the wonderful guy named Andrew Hussie, not matter how many times I wish I was.

**A/N: **I am not responsible for any negative feelings you have.

* * *

Your weren't sure when you noticed it, but you did.

.:.:.

Your name is KARKAT VANTAS, and despite what everyone says you ACTUALLY CARE. You just happen to be what is called a TROLL; with GREY SKIN, BLACK HAIR, VARYING SHADES OF ORANGE/YELLOW HORNS, occasionally described as "CANDY CORN HORNS", and YELLOW EYES WITH GREY IRISES. You speak in a very LOUD VOICE that tends to be referred to as YELLING. You are often referred to as GRUMPY GUY who NEEDS TO LEARN TO CHILL, but honestly, you don't give a shit about that sort of nonsense.

But what you _do _give a shit about is your fellow leader, despite proving otherwise multiple times by yelling at him. And he, is seriously hurting your thinkpan with his nonsense. Oh, how you hate nonsense; especially coming from him. And that just happened to be spewing from his mouth at the moment.

**"-Nicolas Cage is completely perhaps the best actor there is and-"**

**"Will you shut the fuck up, Egbert?"** Karkat spat out, pupils dilating drastically as he focused on the blue-clad derp's face, narrowing his golden eyes and flicking his pointed ears. Black locks of hair fell in front of your face, **"Nobody gives a flying fuck about your Nicolas human Mage."**

**"It's _Cage, _Karkat and-"**

**"Like I said, I don't give a shit. Seriously, shut up before I make you."**

John closed his bucktoothed mouth with a soft clatter, his baby blue eyes looking hurt for a moment before he laughed it off, shrugging it away. You frown again, the occurrence usual for you. Nobody has ever seen you with a smile. Well, except for when you shoosh papped Gamzee but seriously, somebody had to calm him down. Guess it had to be you.

**"Haha, alright, Karkat."**

Your frown deepens. He never gives up that easily, especially concerning Nicolas Cage. But you let it slide.

* * *

**"Heyyy, Karkat, do you want to come with uuuuss?"**

You turn at the sound of your name, noticing the Jade human run towards you with a wide grin on her face, her arm raised upwards, her white howlbeast ears cocked forward as bit, snow-coated tail wagging ferociously. Her black locks of hair blew in the wind -seriously, where the fuck did that shit come from?-, bouncing against her back and the tank top she wore instead of her god tier robe.

**"What are you fuckasses doing?"**

**"Checking out the new alchemizers."**

You agree, because seriously, what other shit do you have to do?

**"Did you ask John to come?"** You ask at some point as you walk with her towards the others.

**"Nah; don't worry about it."** You knew he would be interested in it. Why would Jade simply pass up asking her brother to come with them? This seems odd..

But you say nothing.

* * *

The next time you notice it is when you all are sitting around the table, all of the post-scratch trolls and the pre-scratch humans, chowing down on any thing that they could have scrounged up with the alchemizer. As trolls, your teeth is more designed for carnivorous purposes so you found yourself tearing into a steak that the Rose human made.

But you can't help but notice the lone seat across from you where the John human would normally sit. You also can't help but notice that nobody else seems to notice.

**"Where's Egbert?"** you ask to no one in particular, you voice barely heard over everybody else's. They don't answer you, instead too caught up in their conversations.

It almost seems like he never existed.

* * *

You decided to confront him.

He's nowhere to be found. And you can't help but feel your worry mount.

**"Where the fuck are you..?"**

* * *

When you finally check out his room, you find it long since vacated. When you ask everybody about him, they avoid the question like the plague.

You still worry.

Then finally, you confront Rose.

**"Why the bloody fuck is everybody ignoring my questions?"**

**"It's all a matter of opinion, mister Vantas. They all, have in fact answered your question."**

**"Yeah, because when I ask where the fuck he is, they all answer 'everywhere', or 'somewhere', or 'nowhere'. Tell me what the hell is going on."**

Rose's violets eyes are clouded over when she looks up at you. **"Why not ask him yourself?"**

**"You fucker. That's what I'm asking everybody! Where is he?"**

She smiled solemnly at you that sets a cold stone in your stomach. You don't like that smile, you decide.

**"You'll know."**

Then she walks away.

* * *

The next time you see John, you hug him. After half a human month of seeing him then suddenly dropping off the Earth, you worry. You worried so much.

**"Where the fuck have you been?"**

**"Here. I'll always be here, Karkat." **His grip is light on your back and you almost want to let your crimson tears drip down your cheeks. But you don't. Because you finally found him and now everything was going to be okay.

**"Yeah, took me one hell of a long time to find you though, you fucker."**

**"I worried you?"**

**"...Yeah."**

Then you feel him cry on you, his humans tears wetting your grey sweater. You don't feel the need to push him away.

**"I'm sorry." **He hiccuped, making his sentence nearly indecipherable.

**"What for, fuckass?"**

**"For making you worry."**

**"Never apologize for that, Egbert. Never. Now let's get back to the others."**

Then you notice the pressure on your back grows heavier before his grip loosens. **"I wish, Karkat, I wish I could."**

You feel your sweater getting soaked, but you know it's not his tears this time, and suddenly a nagging feeling begins to creep up on you. You simply clutch him tighter as you feel his grip slacken significantly.

You should have know. Actually, you had always known. But damn, it was so fucking hard, dealing with it. Because it suddenly felt like you were hit by a fucking human train on their Earth that you helped create. You knew where you were. You knew it's where you've seen him this whole time. This one place. Why the fuck did you not let it sink it?

The wetness seeps to your skin through your turtleneck and you simply clutch him tighter, feeling like you'll break him in half if you do but not caring at the moment because he was _there in your arms right now. _And that's all that mattered.

You drew one of your hands away to see crimson blood on your palm and then you feel him pull away from you, his god tier cloak sticking to him. Fucking Jack. It was fucking heroic for saving Rose from him, for avenging their genetic bearers. Fuck him. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

_Fuck._

**"Don't cry for me, Karkat."**

You try to tell him you're not, but the words won't come out. Because it's the truth. You're crying and you pretend you don't know why when you do, and it's killing you to know.

**"Don't worry, I'll always be here."**

Somehow, those words don't bring the cold comfort that you're used to. You dare not look up into his face. Never. You weren't ready. Would you ever be?

**"That's the fucking problem," **you manage out, your voice raspy as crimson bled down your ashen cheeks. Fuck, you're such a wuss. **"You'll _always _be here, never _there_."**

Then you glance up into his face, the chest wound still visible as he breaths, not that he needs to, his god tier cloak looking violet as his life blood soaked the blue fabric. His black hair is plastered to his face, but you won't look at his face, not yet. His long pianist fingers tug at you, daring you to look at him, and you let him tilt your head up but you glance away before you even glance.

**"I'm in the wind Karkat."**

Then you want to scream at him that there's in a wind in space but you just can't bring yourself to, because then you look up into his white, lifeless eyes. And you just lose it.

.:. .:.

Your weren't sure when you noticed it, but you did.

But you wish you hadn't.


End file.
